Dog Management Two - Connection Before Commands

Dog Management Two - Connection Before Commands

Why Attention Comes From Relationship, Not Force

An Unencumbered Journal on Living With Dogs

Intro: Why Commands Fail Without Connection

Most people start with commands -

Sit.

Stay.

Come.

Heel.

And when those don’t work, they assume the dog is stubborn, distracted, or dumb.

That hasn’t been my experience.

In my experience, commands don’t fail — connection fails first.

Before my dog listens to anything I say, she knows who I am to her.

That relationship is what everything else sits on.

This isn’t advice.

This is just how I live with my dog — and why she pays attention.

Attention Is Not Obedience

There’s a big difference between obedience and attention.

Obedience is compliance.

Attention is awareness.

A dog can obey commands and still be disconnected from you.

A dog that is attentive doesn’t need many commands at all.

Most people skip straight to control and never build attention.

They talk at their dog, not with their dog.

Getting on Your Dog’s Level (Literally)

One of the simplest things I do — and one of the most overlooked — is getting down to my dog’s level.

Standing over a dog is dominant whether you intend it or not.

It’s towering.

It’s controlling.

It’s impersonal.

When I want connection, I get low.

I sit on the ground.

I squat.

I lay down.

Not because it’s cute — but because it changes everything.

It tells my dog:

• I’m present

• I’m not demanding anything

• I’m here with you

That alone shifts attention immediately.

Grounding Yourself Before Expecting Attention

Before I engage my dog, I ground myself.

That matters more than people realize.

I clear my head.

I breathe.

I plant my feet.

Animals don’t respond to words first — they respond to state.

If you’re distracted, rushed, irritated, or scattered, your dog knows it before you say a word.

When I slow down, she slows down.

When I’m focused, she’s focused.

That’s not training.

That’s awareness.

Touch Is Communication

Petting isn’t just affection.

It’s communication.

When I pet my dog, I’m not just “being nice.”

I’m reinforcing trust, familiarity, and calm.

Massaging her neck and hindquarters mirrors how dogs groom each other.

It’s instinctive.

It’s grounding for both of us.

This is also why I don’t rush physical connection.

That time matters.

Play Is Not Optional — It’s Foundational

Play isn’t a reward.

Play is relationship maintenance.

Tug.

Fetch.

Movement.

Balance.

Play is how dogs work out instincts safely.

Suppress play, and instincts look for other outlets.

That’s when people start calling behaviors “problems.”

Why Voice Matters (And Why I Don’t Whisper)

I talk to my dog.

A lot.

Not just commands — conversations.

I explain things.

I warn her.

I praise her.

I correct her when needed.

There’s nothing unnatural about saying “no.”

There’s nothing wrong with being loud when safety is involved.

Dogs bark.

Dogs alert.

Dogs raise volume to communicate urgency.

Pretending we shouldn’t do the same is a human invention — not a natural one.

What matters is intent, not volume.

Emergency Reality vs Polite Theory

Here’s a real scenario.

You’re at a park.

Your dog sees another dog it loves.

Between you and them is a parking lot with moving cars.

You’re not going to whisper.

You’re going to raise your voice.

You’re going to call her name sharply.

You’re going to stop her movement now.

If your dog has never heard that tone from you, she’ll hesitate — or panic.

If she knows your voice in all ranges, she responds instantly.

That’s safety.

Not fear.

Attention Comes Before Commands

Before I ask my dog to do anything, I make sure I have her attention.

Eye contact.

Presence.

Awareness.

Commands without attention are noise.

This is why so many people repeat commands over and over — the dog was never tuned in to begin with.

When attention is there, commands become simple.

This Is Why My Dog Stays Close

People notice that my dog stays near me — even off leash.

That’s not control.

That’s connection.

She checks in because she wants to.

She listens because she trusts me.

She stays close because I’ve made myself worth paying attention to.

That didn’t come from force.

It came from consistency.

Closing -

Connection isn’t built through dominance or endless commands.

It’s built through:

• Presence

• Time

• Consistency

• Awareness

• Fair boundaries

When that foundation is solid, training becomes intuitive — not mechanical.

In the next episode, I’ll talk about natural behaviors,

why suppressing them creates problems,

and how understanding instincts changes everything.